Return
by Anayokari
Summary: Recently he had almost forgotten Ed would one day turn back to his old self. But now he was back. What was Roy going to do? RoyEd


**Return**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters within, and I'm not making any money out of this.

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**Four years in one night**

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Edward wriggled as the first beams of light hit his face. It's still early, he thought, and snuggled deeper into the sheets, digging his face into the soft thing next to him. It was so warm, and he felt completely relaxed and safe. This was how it should be, waking up slowly to the first light of the morning sun and the soft breathing of someone else…

Someone else!? Yes, certainly, what he was holding onto was another person, and this person was also holding its arms around him!

Suddenly Ed had a small wave of panic flowing through him. He was in bed with someone else… And yes, he was completely naked! Who the hell was he in bed with!? He didn't know a single girl in Central, and he certainly didn't like anyone. And he definitely wouldn't pay for a whore! After several minutes of internal debate, lying stiff as a rock in this other person's arms, he finally dared cracking his eyes open. And nearly fainted.

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Roy Mustang woke up from a loud scream and a hard push in the chest. He fell backwards off the bed, and was lying in a puddle on the floor before he could even open his eyes. He managed to get up in a sitting position, his mind mildly put confused. He spotted the object of his confusion on the floor next to the bed, clutching the duvet with a terrified expression.

"Ed, what's wrong!" He instantly leapt to the blonde's side, meaning to comfort him. He was cut off though, by a hard kick in the stomach, and another scream.

"Stay away from me, you naked, perverted, old, pedophile son of a bitch!!" Ed was practically crawling backwards across the floor, not letting his eyes of Roy's face, and clutching the duvet to himself so hard his knuckles turned white. Roy could only stare in shock.

"Get some fucking clothes on, damned bastard!! Do you think I enjoy the current view!?"

Roy didn't move an inch though; he was like frozen to the spot. At last he managed to get his tongue to move, though he still stuttered noticeably; "Edward…You…What are you saying?"

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The little part of Edward's mind that wasn't concentrated on the fact that the man in front of him was pluck naked, was a little surprised by the expression of genuine shock and sadness in his face. The colonel rarely showed his true feelings, and certainly not to Ed. He didn't give it much thought at the moment though; he had more urgent matters to think about.

"_Please _get some clothes on! You some kind of flasher or something?" Ed had a hard time keeping his eyes on the man's face and not on…other parts. He watched as Mustang reached out a hand and picked up a pair of trousers and a shirt, and put them on without taking his eye of Edward.

Ed briefly wondered why the man wore an eye patch, but it was soon forgotten when he suddenly remembered he himself was still naked too, except from the duvet. He started to frantically search the room for something to put on. He found what he was looking for at a chair beside the bed; a pile of neatly folded pieces of clothing. He immediately started to pull them on, careful not to let anything show as he did. They all fitted perfectly, but they weren't his. This just added to the list of wrongings done by the Colonel. The damn pedophile must have bought them!

"I'm sure I can sue you for this, Mustang. Sleeping with your sixteen year old subordinate must be illegal somehow. What are you, twice my age? And you must have drugged me down or something too, because I don't remember a thing." Ed was slowly getting over the shock, and what was left of it he tried his best to cover up with the usual bantering. He glanced up at the dark haired man, and found his expression to be filled with almost panic like fear, and another emotion, could it be…Relief? No, it couldn't be.

"What? You scared now? Scared that your reputation will be blackened, and all your ass licking to get up the ranks will be wasted? Well, you should have thought about that before then, shouldn't you?"

"No Ed, it's not that. It's just… You're not sixteen, you're twenty. You-"He was cut off by a deadly glare from Ed.

"You think I'm stupid!? I sure as hell know my own age!!" Ed was getting seriously worked up now. All the shock was being replaced by anger. White hot anger.

"I know you do, but listen to me. Listen!" Mustang had to bellow the last word, to stop Ed who had balled his fist and opened his mouth to start another rant.

"Just listen, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer, just kept on talking, "You've had amnesia. The last four years or so you haven't remembered anything from your life as the Fullmetal alchemist Edward Elric. You are currently twenty years old; we just celebrated your birthday." Ed could only stare in disbelief. What was this man trying to achieve? To lure himself out of this very unlucky situation? He registered that Mustang saw that he didn't believe him also.

"If you don't believe me, then see for yourself!" The colonel pointed at the full body mirror at the other side of the room.

"Sure, I'll look! Don't know what you're hoping I'll see though", Ed walked over to the mirror while talking, "what you're trying to achieve by saying these things is above me. Probably just trying to save yo-" He stopped midsentence when his eyes fell on the reflection that met him;

His blonde hair was cropped short and didn't even reach his shoulders, but that wasn't what was most disturbing. The person looking back at him with eyes as big as plates _did_ look like him, but was so totally different still. The jaw was sharper than before, more manly, and he could see that it needed a shave. The cheekbones were pointier, like the skin in his face had tightened around them. And his body seemed different too, broader somehow. It had lost some of the childish slimness it had always had, and the muscles were more defined. As the Colonel stepped up behind him he could see he was definitely taller too, though just a few inches. He met the dark haired man's eye through the mirror, and managed to stutter out the only thing he could come up with at the moment.

"What…What happened to my hair?"

Mustang eyed the considerably shorter blonde bangs, and gave a small, sad smile. "I tried to make you keep it, but you said it was more convenient that way, something about the hair catching in the automail."

"_I_ cut it!? I would never-" Ed softly tugged a few locks, "…Well, I guess I wouldn't remember that…" He let the hand slide down along the strangely unfamiliar angles of his cheek and jaw, exploring the new roughness. He let out a sigh as he spotted a few tiny wrinkles under his eyes, which hadn't been there before. "You're speaking the truth, aren't you?" He said as he turned and met the Colonels eye for real.

"Afraid so. I'm so sorry." He really did look sorry, like he actually was responsible.

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault, was it?"

"Well…No."

"There you have it. What I bet _is_ your fault though, is the fact that I was very recently lying in what I guess is your bed, _naked_!" Ed put his hands on his hips and stared hard at the man in front of him. He did meet his eyes, but was that a…blush? Mustang was blushing!?

"Well, that is in fact not entirely my fault. You see…We…Oh, this is going to be weird to explain now you have your memory back…" He pulled a hand through his already messy hair, and stared at the ceiling, as if looking for an answer.

For a loooong time. Ed was losing his patience.

"Just tell me already! I already figured we must have had sex or something, so you can cut the crap." He winced inwardly at the s´ word, and felt ugly all over. The hard look became a glare, and though the brave words, he had a very strong feeling he was not going to like what the Colonel said next. And he was right.

"I guess you're right…About several things. We did have sex." An involuntary shudder went through Ed. "The thing is, for the last three years or so, we've been living together. You could say we're…boyfriends, in lack of a better word. Or rather lovers-"

"Oh God, stop!" Ed spun around, holding a hand to his mouth, and grabbing the edge of a dresser for some support. "This means…I'm _gay_!? And with you of all people! The worst womanizer in whole Amestris! But doesn't this mean…_You're_ gay too…? Oh, fuck!" The last words were growled out through gritted teeth, both hands clutching the dresser so hard it looked like it might give in for the automail.

"Well actually, I'm bi, so I didn't use the women as coverage or anything. _You_ on the other hand are completely gay. But I didn't think it would shock you this much. I mean, didn't you have any idea? You must have noticed something, you were sixteen already!" The older alchemist was stressing the words a bit.

"No, I never even thought about that!! I always just assumed I'd end up marrying Winry or something. If only I knew!" He let out a short, barky laugh, and though the still slightly panicky touch to his voice, he was calming down a bit, and loosened his grip on the poor dresser. "And what do you think was most important, Al or my love life? About that, where is Al by the way? Does he live here too?" Ed didn't hesitate to grab the chance for a change of subject, and he had started to wonder about Al's whereabouts. He got no answer though, and turned back to demand one.

What met him was the one look he knew he could not bear. The one look that would mean his whole purpose, existence and life would be gone. He started slowly shaking his head, denying what the man was going to say before he had even said it. With horror he watched Mustang's lips part, and he felt as though the universe itself had started to crumble.

"Ed, I'm so sorry. The reason you lost your memory... When you tried to restore your bodies, he…He didn't make it."

"Don't…Don't lie to me…" Ed said meekly, shaking his head more violently.

"I would never lie about such a thing, Edward, you-"

"NO!" The strangled scream cut through the air. "You're lying. It's not true. YOU'RE LYING!!" At the last words Ed threw himself forward, aiming at the man in front of him with his automail hand. He wanted to beat the man so hard he could never stand again for saying such things, for telling him these lies with that honest face.

His hand never made contact with Mustangs face though, the man had stopped it like it had no force at all, and was now holding it in his own. With a deeper sadness in his eye than Ed had ever seen before, he put a hand on Ed's shoulder. Ed didn't even flinch, but went limp under the older man's steady, honest gaze.

"Edward, as much as it pains me, and as much as I wish that I wasn't, I am speaking the truth."

And that one sentence, that one combination of words that any other day wouldn't mean a thing, sent what was left of Ed's world crashing down around him.

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Hours later found Roy sitting at the kitchen table, head resting heavily on his arms. In front of him stood a bottle and a half filled glass, untouched. He had taken them out for the first time in years, but hadn't gone any further than pouring the liquid.

Ed had convinced him to stop drinking completely a while after Al's death, when it had become an apparent problem. He found it hard to go against that now, and simply stared at the glass's contents. It was golden, just like his eyes.

In a way he was relieved that Ed had gotten his memory back. He hadn't understood a thing at the beginning, and thought he might have done something wrong when Ed reacted the way he did that morning. He was also happy, extremely happy, that the Ed he had missed to the point of almost physical pain was back. But he was also scared. Scared of what would happen between him and Ed now, what he would feel like, how Ed would cope with everything, how Winry would react, and so many other things. He let out a deep sigh.

Ed was sleeping now, exhausted after crying violently for so long. Roy had held him the whole time, letting him scream into his chest and feeling his shirt slowly get soaked. Silently rocking and stroking him and ignoring the growing pain in his legs for sitting still for so long, for he knew this was the only thing he could do. He had felt so helpless, was feeling helpless still. Pathetic.

He had probably known all along that Ed eventually would get his memory back. But it had been so long. At first he had wished for Ed to regain his memory more than anything, but as the years went by he had gotten used to it, and recently he had almost forgotten Ed would one day turn back to his old self.

And now he was back. What was Roy going to do?

Suddenly, in one fluid motion, Roy picked up the small glass in front of him and carried it to the sink. He stared longingly down at the golden liquid, swirling it around slightly, before opening his right hand and pouring it over his palm. He flinched as it burned his way through the cuts covering it. It had taken all his strength stopping Ed's automail hand, and it had digged itself deep into the flesh.

As he watched the alcohol mixed with dried blood disappear down the drain, a single tear slid down his cheek. He was gone. 'Roy's Edward' was gone, the Ed Roy had known, and loved, for the last four years. He clutched the counter, ignoring the pain in his hand, and started sobbing heavily, tears flowing freely and dripping steadily into the sink. Though he had known this would happen, nothing could have prepared him for the pain and shock he was now feeling.

He didn't know how long he stood there, but eventually the tears ran dry and his breath grew even.

He quickly washed his face and dried it off with a towel. Then he cleaned the glass, before putting the bottle away as well. That was good bye, he thought. He would not greave anymore or wish for 'his' Edward to come back. It was not fair to the man currently inhabiting that very same body. The Edward that he also loved dearly and had missed and longed for so many times during the past years.

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A/N: I know it's an unoriginal and overused theme, please don't bite me! Any tips or criticism you might have is highly appreciated :)

And just so you know, I used more than three months to write this, and I don't expect writing the next chapter will be going any faster. I'm sorry!


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